Yo, listen up. This game/scene/jungle is a messed up place, man. You gotta watch your back 'cause there are some real jerks/pricks/douchebags out there. One minute they're all friendly, the next they're sabotaging/stabbing/trashing you. It's all about the power/money/fame, and these hacks/snakes/clowns will do anything to get it. They'll sleep with/cheat on/use your girl, steal your ideas/grind/thunder, and then laugh in your face about it. Don't trust anyone, especially those smooth-talking/fake-smiling/wolf-in-sheep's-clothing freaks/losers/bastards.
- Play smart
- Keep your eyes open
- Show them who's boss
Surviving Arse-licking Assholes: A Guide to Corporate Life
Let's acknowledge: corporate life is a goddamn minefield. You're surrounded by two-faced morons, all vying for the next promotion, and they'll screw over anyone to get there. But don't fret just yet, you can thrive this toxic jungle with a few simple strategies.
- First, understand the art of the smile. Keep your lips twisted into a fake expression while you plot your escape.
- Secondly, keep in mind that silence is powerful. Don't utter a word unless it benefits you, and even then, keep it short.
- Remember this| Never, under any circumstances, get involved in office drama. It's a vortex from which you may never return.
The Moron's Manual for Peak Dumbness
Are you tired of being capable? Do you yearn for the sweet embrace of utter ignorance? Then this tome is for you, my fellow moron. Within these pages, you'll discover the secrets to achieving peak asininity. Learn how to screw up in every aspect of your life. Master the art of not knowing anything. And most importantly, be remembered for all the wrong reasons as the greatest arsehead this world has ever seen!
- Chapter 1: The Fundamentals of Fumbling
- Chapter 2: Advanced Techniques in Blundering
- Chapter 3: The Art of Saying the Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time
This collection of wisdom is not for sensible people. It's a journey into the abyss of idiocy, and only the truly dedicated should embark on it.
Death Dealer Diary: Tales from the Trench
A shadowy figure/apparition/silhouette crawled through the damp/murky/fetid back alley, his cloak/hood/mantle pulled tight against the biting wind/chill/cold. The stench of decay/trash/death hung heavy in the air, a familiar perfume to this seasoned assassin/killer/slayer. He was on his way to his usual watering hole/rendezvous/meeting place, a seedy bar/tavern/pub known as The Grim Reaper/Black Cat/Silken Serpent. This wasn't your typical establishment; here, the patrons traded tales of grime/bloodshed/violence, not just drunken gossip/rumors/lies.
He slipped through the door, his presence barely noticed amongst the crowd/gathering/mob of hardened criminals/outlaws/mercenaries. Whispers/Mumbles/Murmurs followed him as he made his way to the bar, where a familiar face/figure/profile greeted him with a knowing nod/glance/look. This was Jimmy "The Viper/Snake/Rat" Malone, the bartender/owner/boss of this den of iniquity.
"The usual, pal/friend/chum?" Jimmy rasped, his voice gravelly/rough/worn from years of cigarettes/whiskey/hard living.
The assassin nodded, taking a seat at the bar. He was here to collect information, trade secrets/gossip/intelligence, anything that could help him land his next contract/job/hit. The world of assassination was a brutal one, and he had to stay one step ahead of the competition/rivals/enemies.
From Arsehole to Achiever: A Guide to Life
Right, you knuckleheads. Let's face it, you're probably not the sharpest knife in the shed, are you? Life's tough as nails and you keep tripping over your own feet. Well, guess what? This manual is here to help you out. We're gonna turn around your life and make you into the alpha you were always meant to be. Don't worry, it won't be easy - just a little bit of desire. So get ready because things are about to get real.
- Read carefully!
- Use your noodle.
Follow these simple steps
When Arses Collide: A Comedy of Errors
This ain't your typical hilarious farce. It's a chaotic romp through confusion where everyone's clueless and nothing goes as expected. You got your flawed characters, stumbling headfirst into a heap of messes that'll leave you laughing hysterically. It's a wild ride, folks, so buckle up and prepare for some serious chaos.